Beautifully Spoiled – The Final Entry

In the late morning on the day of our final disembarkation from Serenity, Steve and I spent quite a bit of time at a table in the shade out by the pool. Some of that time I spent writing down things I wanted to remember clearly after we left the ship, both for my own happiness and because I wanted to close out this series of blogs with some of what I had watched God do during the course of our fifteen days on board (give or take). As I said in Part One, one of my main desires while we were aboard was to be able to spend an appreciable amount of time writing, editing, re-writing, etc. After all, we were scheduled to be on the ship for over four months and it’s a fabulous place to get writing done. I’d planned to take full advantage of it.

Maybe you’re familiar with Proverbs 19:21. In the NIV version it reads: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.” Obviously, I had a few plans for that trip … and equally obviously, the Lord’s plans were different. But as I sat there that day looking back at our time on board, I was able to pinpoint at least some of the plans that weren’t mine.

They actually began to appear the first night on the ship – remember how I said coming on board was like a reunion with old friends for us? When we went to dinner both the Maitre’d and our head waiter, Vlad, recognized us … and we remembered them. It was good to see them again, but the real surprise came when Vlad mentioned someone we hadn’t sailed with in a while. It was Piotr (we call him Peter), a young man we met in July of 2008 when he was our waiter for a 13-day cruise we took with our daughters and two close friends. That cruise started our friendship and we looked forward to seeing him each time we boarded. In getting to know him, we discovered that one of his dreams was to come work in the United States. Our friend, Michael, owned two restaurants in our area so we asked him about the possibility of Piotr working for him. Michael said he’d be willing to interview him, so Peter flew in with his first wife and two small sons on a visitor’s visa. After the interview Michael said he’d hire Piotr in a split minute, so Steve set up an appointment for Piotr with the immigration attorney he used at the plant. The interview went well, but we were told Piotr wouldn’t be allowed to immigrate, even though he had a job lined up. Seems our country didn’t want him if he was skilled in something. But we continued our relationship with him whenever we cruised and by email – then we lost track of him for a few years. So, it was lovely to hear our waiter that first night say, “Guess who’s head waiter on the other side of the dining room? Piotr’s back.”

A little while later Piotr came over to say hello. He told us about some of the things that had been happening in his life, but the dining room was not the place we wanted to have an in-depth conversation, so we made arrangements to meet him a few days later on his morning break so we could really talk. During that time, he let us know what had been happening in his life since we’d seen him. He had left the ship because he had a new wife and child and not surprisingly, she didn’t want him to be gone on the ship for months at a time. So, he tried numerous times to get into the restaurant business in Europe and Britain. It wasn’t hard to get hired. He was even asked a number of times to go in on a new endeavor as part owner. But because he was naive, and incredibly honest, he was taken advantage of by others over and over again. It got so bad that his wife, Kelly, couldn’t take it anymore – she didn’t leave Piotr, but she took their son and returned home to Brazil. Piotr also let us in on the nightmare happenings of his childhood. We hadn’t known any of this before and it broke my heart. He told us that he was finally in such a bad place that, in his words, “I wanted to suicide myself.” That scared him enough that he cried out to God, and sought professional help.

When he talked about his new relationship with God, his countenance completely changed and we could hear the joy and hope in his voice. And he said over and over that he knew he would be okay, because God had him. It became clear that it was to be our opportunity and privilege to come alongside him and encourage him in his faith, and also to give him practical help. That first morning we spent about three hours with him; on two other mornings we met with him again for about two hours each time. I gave him a copy of Clandestiny, which he began reading on the ship. And we’ve emailed with him a few times since we disembarked. He made it safely home to Brazil to be with his wife and youngest son, and tells us his older two boys are doing well in Europe where they are in school. He has now taken a contract with another cruise line that begins the first week of May.

The next encounter happened in the dining room on the second or third night we were on the ship. The table we were seated at would normally sit four to six people, but that night it became our table for two. Directly in front of us there were two smaller tables, each with a married couple sitting there. They didn’t know each other, but began chatting … because of where we were it was impossible not to hear what they were saying. Plus, they were not trying to be quiet! I heard one of the gentlemen say that on one of their previous cruises he’d taken the writing class (from the same teacher I’d taken it from on a different cruise) and he’d written a book. Since Steve and I were mostly finished with our meal and had just been chatting with Vlad, I took the opportunity to excuse myself and take the few steps needed to open a conversation with the new group. I ended up dropping a copy of Clandestiny at their stateroom that evening … at the end of our ferry ride into Ft. Lauderdale, she approached us and told me she’d finished the book. I think her comment was, “I could tell how much your faith means to you and how it’s guided you.” Hopefully, what she read will play over and over in her mind and she’ll seek more information in her future.

Plus, while I was chatting with them, Steve and Vlad were able to have a semi-private conversation – you know, man-talk. Turns out Vlad shared some things with Steve that he might not have if I’d been within earshot. Steve was able to empathize with him and do a little bit of counseling also. So, I’m taking that as another God moment …

The final one I’ll mention was someone we’ve known for a few years. We were surprised and pleased to see this one – he was the close-up magician from the Magic Castle in Hollywood who was scheduled to perform on that leg of the voyage. We had assumed that with Covid protocols they probably wouldn’t have scheduled a close-up magician. We were wrong … and the big plus from our viewpoint was that it was Doc, one of the best. We went and reserved tickets for his first performance, and on that day, we showed up early. We were actually the first guests there, so the ticket taker walked us in to the still empty room and we chose the two end seats in the second row. Doc was the next person to enter the room, but our backs were to the door so he didn’t immediately recognize us. Being who he is, he was already chatting with us as he walked by – when he turned to look at us, he stopped and said, “I know you!” Since we had some time with no one else there, he grabbed a chair, turned it around and sat down to talk with us. As people always say in that situation, the first questions was, “So, how are you?”

He took a deep breath and said, “It’s been a tough year – my thirty-five-year-old son committed suicide last fall.” Doc and his girlfriend/partner, Jeanie, had taken the cruise partially as a time to get out of Aspen where it was freezing; partially to have a chance to breathe and heal, and partially to give Doc a chance to spread some ashes in one of his son’s favorite locations to visit.

We hadn’t seen Doc since before Mark was diagnosed with cancer, and it was the first time we’d met Jeanie. It wasn’t until after Doc’s performance, when it was just the four of us in the room again, that we actually had a little time to really talk. In the course of that, we were asked how many kids we have. I answered, “We had four – two sons and two daughters.” A few minutes later, Jeanie commented, “You said you had two sons and two daughters … why ‘had’?

“We lost our oldest son to cancer about eleven months ago.”

There was a pause … and then the standard responses of “I’m so sorry”, etc. But what really happened was a new door opened for Doc to share his grief with people who understood what he was going through on a slightly different level. We knew personally some of the things he was thinking and feeling; I’m hoping it allowed him to feel okay about mentioning his son frequently and sharing things, the good and the bad, without the discomfort that can happen when talking to someone who hasn’t had that experience and isn’t sure quite how to respond. As a parent grieving over the loss of a child, that can be an uncertain experience. You wonder how much is too much to share; is saying just a little, too little … it’s not an easy road to navigate. But I know from personal experience that it’s easier when you’re talking to someone who has also walked that path.

In any case, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together at meals or just out and about on the ship. In fact, the “two friends” I mentioned in the previous blog, the ones we dropped at the airport on that last day, were Doc and Jeanie. They went home with a copy of Clandestiny also. And, although they live quite a distance from us, we hope to be able to continue seeing them whenever possible … and, as I promised Doc, they are frequently in my prayers.

And just so you know – Piotr, Doc and Jeanie have all given me permission to post this blog entry. I try to be very careful about sharing other people’s stories. It’s kind of one of those “do unto others” situations. But these encounters were some of the hidden blessings of our “Grand Cruise … That Wasn’t.”

So, am I beautifully spoiled … or spoiled rotten? Here’s where I stand on that question: the jury is still out. Let’s be honest – it’s going to be a day-by-day, maybe even moment-by-moment battle. After all, I am human … and as a species we all have the capacity to be both types of spoiled. But, I’m willing to take the risk of being called on it when I lean toward the “rotten” side. If I wasn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this post. The bottom line is no matter where I fall on that scale I can hang on to the knowledge of, and faith in, the One who loves me the same on my worst day as he does on my best. And that part is beautiful!