Different

This post has been percolating in my head for a couple of months now – most of the writing I’ve done on it has been silently, in my brain during the wee hours of the morning when I’m unable to sleep. It appeared because I’ve seen a disturbing trend over the last few years, that has become more and more concerning recently with all the racial and political unrest.

As a society, we seem to have slipped down a rabbit hole that doesn’t lead to Wonderland. Instead it leads to more anger, hate and division. And, it’s not limited to one segment of society or one area of the nation. I’ve seen it on the news, on the web … and more painful still, I’ve seen it among my friends and my family – I’ve even been on the receiving end of it. The scariest part of that is I know the people who threw it at me weren’t even aware of doing it or of its possible effect. And I had to ask myself if I’d been guilty of it also – the answer came back that I most likely had … strike that! I most definitely had!

What is this thing that I’m speaking of? It’s the tendency of each one of us to shove people in a box based on their religion, the color of their skin, their political affiliation, their economic status, whether they agree with us, or not … you name it, just about any difference can be used to categorize someone. And here’s the problem: when that happens, we are ignoring that person’s individuality, their talents, their moments of kindness and caring. They are suddenly just part of the group in the box; the box that can’t celebrate different because the definition of different has become “WRONG”.

If you’ve read Clandestiny, you might remember that I was well into my twenties before I had the epiphany that different wasn’t necessarily wrong. It was just … different. And tonight, I looked up the definition of ‘different’ in Webster’s dictionary. There were a lot of words to explain what it means … and do you know what? Not one of those words was “wrong” – or “evil” – or “hateful” – or any other thing in that category.

I think we can all agree that unless you’re staring at the criminal world, no matter what group of people you’re looking at, – doctors, lawyers, professional athletes, actors, musicians – it’s almost a certainty that some percentage of them are going to be jerks and another percentage are going to be wonderful. And, it’s almost equally as certain that some of them are going to be decent human beings who are just trying to do the best they can. I know that it’s possible for me to be a wonderful, caring human being and a complete jerk all within one 24-hour period So, if you’re going to categorize me, I’d appreciate it if you stare at the moments I’m wonderful, and ignore the others.

So, here’s what I’d like to say: let’s be careful about vilifying an entire group of people. Before we say or post something that isn’t kind about Christians, or Democrats, or Republicans, or Blacks, or Hispanics, or any other “group”, how about we stop for a moment and do a mental review of family, friends, the people we work with, etc. Is it possible that someone you know and happen to like would fit into the “box” you’re about to denigrate? Is that really what you want to do? How do you think they’ll feel when they see or hear it? Do you know what’s in their heart? Do you care? Wouldn’t it be a better use of our time and intellect to try to have an open, honest conversation with someone from that “box”, and see if we can find some understanding and some common ground? It won’t be as easy, and it might be a whole lot more uncomfortable – but my guess is that it will also be a great deal more profitable … for both you and me … and society in general. Either way, I’m up for giving it a try.